China here I come!

Here am I blogging in my brother's room in Nilai, Malaysia. It's so hot here! No air-cond! >.<
Tomorrow morning I'm flying to China yahoo!
Hope the trip goes well :)
Alright, he's coming and I gotta go.
Gonna go online as much as possible.

xoxo <3

Diego es el mejor <3

Me encanta sus canciones 'Losing me'/'Perdido en ti'! It's sooo me~

Losing me

I don't know who I am anymore
My world starts and stops
Right outside your door
I'm feeling weak
And I can't sleep tonight

Never though that I would ever feel this way
I'm hanging on to every word that you say
And I’m beaten down
I come around
One look in your eyes and I am saved

Whatever you want, I want
Whatever you feel, I feel
I follow you
But I keep losing me

You've taken all control of everything I know
And I miss the days when I was happy on my own
When I could breath
When I could dream
So break my heart and give me back my soul

Whatever you want, I want
Whatever you feel, I feel
Cause I follow you
But I keep losing

Wherever you go, I go
Whatever you need, I need
See, I follow you, you know, I do
I follow you
But I keep losing me

I can't face it anymore
Just give and then
you take I break
you hesitate
don't fake, you know, it's true
I don't wanna to be like this
I'm invisible
one kiss and I was gone
And now I feel so wrong

whatever you want, I want
whatever you feel, I feel
I follow you, you know I do
I follow you

Wherever you go, I go
whatever you need, I need
See, I follow you, you know I do
I follow you
but I keep losing me

whatever you want, I want
whatever you feel, I feel
cause I..
but I keep losing me

loving in you is a sacrifice that ends up killing me

For a smile today =)

P.S22 Chorus is here again~!
Such talented adorable kids. They started appearing on the U.S TV shows! Way to go~! =)

Just Dance! (can you believe it? :P)



Don't stop believing



Aww aren't they cute and amazing? And sometimes they make some funny movements too haha XD

And here's the 8 year-old guitar master, Lucciano Pizzichini!
He got to perform with Juanes and play in front of Carlos Santana! Bravo Lucchy! ^^

Juanes



He's got a sponge bob sticker on his acoustic guitar haha so cute :) but he's so skinny, the guitar looks bigger than him lol XD

Devastated

If I stored my tears for this month, it would fill a whole bucket.
I wish I could go back to the simplicity I used to have.

I'm devastated.

Buenos dias

I saw the watch and I got up from my bed.
Giddy. That's how I felt.

There were some little boys in a shop. It was a nice shop. The boys were messing around and the father scolded them. I don't know them.

My parents, my aunts and myself were in a furniture shop. There were fancy couches, tables and lamps. They were like "Can we sit here? Some couches don't have the 'Do-not-sit' sign so it means we can, right?" Then they sat down and chattered.

I was in a place with a rail on the ground. It wasn't a station. It was more like a tram rail and the environment looked old, like in the 19th or 20th century. There were some old friends and a friend approached me. He looked just like 9 years ago when the last time I saw him. I remembered his last name.

I was walking in a hallway. I passed by a door and glanced at someone. I stopped my steps and walked back. He was standing against a wall, with the similar suit and hairstyle like the last time I saw him. He looked at me and his mouth was opened. Mine too, and I cried "Davi!" But a big guy suddenly brought him away saying, "Let's go, the concert has started." He walked away without looking.
I continued walking and met my friend, Sakti, together with his siblings, outside the building. Again, he still looked like last time I saw him. He was there to watch the concert. I went out, walked through a familiar road.

It's a beautiful morning with the chill breeze coming through the window.
Good morning.

One more to go

I'm home!
The exam was okay, luckily. At the end I canceled one question and changed to do the other cuz I think I could gain more marks from that. Felt relieved that I did it in time =) but I was freezing inside the room! brrrr. Oh, but I think I the paper was very messy since I forgot to bring my liquid paper so yeah, strokes everywhere :P
Just hope I can get ehm A. lol.

*Todavia le amo*

¿Es mi decisión correcta?

No entiendo

La ilusión se va de mi
Como el aire al respirar
Tu amor ya lo perdí
Como un sueño al despertar
La luna saldrá
De nuevo otra vez
Y tu, mi amor
No estarás

A veces no entiendo
No se lo que siento
Quisiera saber que hice mal
Y nunca te pude decir
Que me muero porque estés aquí
Ser fuerte es mi decisión

Tu recuerdo es una flor
El perfume de tu voz
Tu silencio es un rumor
Que me llena de dolor
Y en algún rincón
De mi corazón, amor
Siempre tu
Quedaras

Tu sonrisa esta en mi
Tu recuerdo se quedo
Quítame ese dolor
Quisiera saber entender
como reparar el dolor
Que siento en mi corazón
Si ya no te tengo mi amor

Mi decisión

Tu recuerdo es una flor
El perfume de tu voz

-Belinda

How do I deal

Every day I wake up to another day gone by
Nothing but the open road and the never-ending why
Anything can happen, yeah, but nothin ever does
I try to change, it's kinda strange, the same as it ever was,
but look at us

How do I deal with you
How do I deal with me
When I don't even know myself
Or what it is you want from me
How do I deal with us
How do I know what's real
When I don't even trust myself
Or what it is I feel
And how do I deal

Every night, in the dark, I lie awake in bed
How am I supposed to dream, with all the static in my head
I turn in all directions and I pray for some relief
What can I do but feel the weight I'm underneath
And grit my teeth

How do I deal with you
How do I deal with me
When I don't even know myself
Or what it is you want from me
How do I deal with love
(Why do I) Why do I have to choose
And everybody's tellin me
What the hell I have to do
And how do I deal with us
How do I know what's real (Real)
When I don't even trust myself
Or what it is I feel
Now how do I deal

-Jennifer Love Hewitt
*no.48 in my playlist :)

This is what I am

I like making and seeing people laugh.
I don't like when people trying to change me.
I like to have fun.
I don't like when people trying to control me.
I like to chat.
I don't like when people don't make an eye contact while talking.
I like to make friends.
I don't like when people act like they really care while they don't.
I like to try something new.
I don't like the feelings of failing.
I like to see myself as a strong person.
I don't like when people step on me.
I like to help anything for positive reasons.
I don't like when people make themselves look pitiful and make me feeling guilty.
I like hearing people calling my name.
I don't like when people judge me from the outlook.
I like to free myself.
I don't like when people create boundaries of things that I want to do.
I like to be independent.
I don't like to be pampered.
I like to be excited.
I don't like when people turn off my good mood.
I like to be what I'm capable of becoming.
I don't like when people ruin my plans.
I like to be different.
I don't like when people start comparing me.

If I were the weather, I could be sunny and cloudy in the next 5 minutes.
If I were a plant, I would be a cherry blossom tree, as the flowers only bloom at spring. I don't 'bloom' all the time as well.
I think of every reason and consequence and everything in between.
I love day-dreaming and I won't stop doing it 'coz I know the things only exist in my dreams.
I hate when I can't make decisions and end up being frustrated.
I will do everything that I want and think is right.

I'm a rock-headed. I'm unstoppable. I'm competitive. I'm inconsistent. I'm indecisive. I'm a workaholic. I'm a deep thinker. I'm a dreamer. I am me. This is what I am.

New hair-do!

Okay I got my hair permed!
This is the first I time I did it so haven't got used to it.
And ugh I should've not asked the hairstylist to cut the fringe shorter, now I look so funny!
So I realized why he made it at that length in the first place -.-
I can say that I look kinda like Korean now lol. Not Japanese anymore??
Coz I've been asked several times things like "Are you a Japanese?"
In my heart I said "Can't it be more obvious?" lmao.
Today I'm gonna have some study group with a couple of friends in school, but I don't wanna go to school! Aaghhh! Fringe, please grow fast! XD

Great weekend!

I had the best weekend so far!
On Saturday I went to the Electone Festival and it was awesome ;)
The competition section's contestants were just great!
There was 1 Indonesian joined and he won for the open age category! But he'll represent Singapore later in Asia Pacific Electone Festival held in KL. Singapore is lucky!
There was a couple of moments when he was like slapping the keys and no slips! And again, for those kinds of moments, my jaw dropped down. :O two-thumbs up! I'd give more if I had more than 2! XD haha.
And I loved 1 kid who played in the Junior Entertainment Section. He was sooo cute~~ and he won the grand prix for that section! That's my boy! XDD

Okay, and the next day I went for the Crackers! It was full of surprises and I loved that! Never did I see such wonderful fireworks that close. It was better than a new year! Hahaa.
Ok I was supposed to upload some videos here but it just couldn't -.- So just check my facebook later, will upload there soon ;)

A good start to begin the study week :P
agghhhh exams!

"Teardrops" on my pillow

It was 12 midnight, I was lying on my bed with eyes wide opened, trying to get some sleep.
I changed my position a lot and eventually stuck in one position, till I felt a drop of liquid rolling on my cheek.
"Am I weeping?" I wondered. I was in the situation whereby weeping was truly accepted and reasonable.
I wiped my 'tear' and it felt sticky.
I looked at my hand, and it was brownish.
I turned on the light and saw myself like in a horror movie.
I looked the blood spot in the mirror. It was gushing out, like a spring water.
The tissues couldn't even handle it.
It was scary.
It was disgusting.
My hands were covered in blood as if I had killed someone.
I sat down on my bed, gave some time for the scar to stop bleeding and thinking how this could happen. I swear I didn't scratch this time. I was completely awake.
I got my nose band-aided and tried to clean the "teardrops" on my pillow.
I changed my shirt, felt disgusted with what I was wearing before.
I went back to sleep and at the meantime I heard water dropping from the air-cond.
It wasn't the first time but it just reminded me again of what had happened earlier.
It couldn't stop but I just ignored it and prayed hard, hoping that this would be the last time to happen.
In my prays, I fell asleep.

Bloody Morning

"Your Call" by Seconhand Serenade rang into my ears and brought me back from my dream.
I stretched my arm and saw a spot of dry blood on my right arm.
I was thinking that I must've been scratching again in my sleep.
I checked my body, oh no, I should say that I checked my scars marked on my body.
None of them looked like it had bled before.
Then I saw my nails. The tips were black, full of dry blood.
It creeped me out.
I decided to get up from my bed and something caught me.
My pillow had a stain of blood, and so my pyjamas.
The dark stains marked on the red pyjamas, as if a vampire tried to suck my blood at night.
I was thinking this couldn't have happened without a reason.
Then I remembered the scar on my face.
I looked in the mirror and I knew.
It was from that scar as it had dry blood around it, even on my cheeks.
I wondered how could a small scar bleed so much?
I wish I could record my sleeps.
But I know I wouldn't dare to see it.
What's got me into this?

Spooky.

Diego esta soltero! <3

GYAAAAA! Diego's english is so good~~! ^^
He guided the friend, Elliot to say 'estoy soltero y busco novia' but the friend said 'nobria' and then he was like 'what is it?' LOL~~xDDDD
and it's supposed to be 'chicas' instead of 'gigas' HAHAHA. No wonder Diego smiled after that. So funny! XD Son muy guapos! XDDDD

And u know what, there will be a video chat with Diego on June 22nd evening! But in Singapore it will be the next morning and it's the day of my exam! And it's in the morning! NOOOO! I'll miss the chance =(( What should I dooo? AGHHHHHHH.

All the best for your exams Diego!! Muchos besos tambien! XDD

It's tomorrow! =)

I'm excited for tomorrow! But kind of nervous at the same time..hope everything goes well ;) Today we had a small rehearsal and it was the first time I got to see the other students of my teacher's ;) there was one student who was going to perform 2 songs. Not fair! I thought everyone's got to play a song only. and he was like umm..kinda cocky? Whatever, anyway his songs are quite easy I supposed. I also can play them! Hahaaa XD But seriously, some songs are simple and easy to play but thanks to the background music, it sounds to be more than just a simple song. Normally it applies to the lower grades ;P Oh, I also had a nice chit-chat with one of the students. We took the same bus to go home and we were talking about electone stuff. It feels good when I talk to people who do the same thing as I do as we know where the conversations go and get connected. Sometimes when I explain about electone or Spanish stuff to other people, take my parents XD they could understand for a period of time but later on they would say or ask things that actually I've already explained! -.-"" so yeahh hahaa it can't be helped. Oh and guess what! She took the exam before and didn't make it for twice! Ok actually I heard this situation before on another person but after knowing the fact that so many people failed this, I started feeling that actually I wasn't that bad. Is it wrong to say this? Well, my point is just that I know this grade is super hard and I still have another chance to make this successful, so yeah, hope I'll be more ready than ever on November! Alright I gotta go now, wish me luck for tomorrow! Hope the place won't be so cold, if it is, my temperature will fall twice than normal! And I will get sooo nervous till my fingers tremble :S , which is bad! But even that cocky guy's fingers trembled as well XDD Hope this 3rd performance of mine will turn out great!
xoxo<3

Blablablaa.

What a short day..
I didn't do well on my test.. 15 out of 20. -.-
I wish I could get a full mark hoaahhhhh..
Teacher gave back us the paper after the test. His brain is amazing that he could mark them super fast. For your information, the class in not a small one. :P
It's been a while since I came back home right after school. I need a rest!
I don't understand of people who look so free whereas they haven't even started the assignment that is due the day after tomorrow.
"Hey, wanna watch a movie?", "Let's grab some McDs!"
And I'll be like =_=""
That's how they live a life. XD
I've been watching videos of PS22 Chorus. They're adorableeee~

One of their videos. I think this one is the best ;)

Time flies :)

Hey, it's June!
Can't you believe that it's already in the middle of the year?
Time goes by sooo fast and I'm also getting older -.- -.-
Sometimes I feel like I'm still 15 or 16 whereas I'm turning 18 this year, aarrhhh.
Maybe it's because I didn't have that 'Sweet 17 big party' unlike my girlfriends in Indonesia.
Looking back at their pictures in hotels or fancy restaurants with pretty dresses and loads of friends, makes me feel like hey if I was back home I would've done this!
I still feel somewhat sad if I think of the fact that I couldn't attend my bestfriends' birthday parties.
Woot! Ok why am I being so gloomy in the morning? Hahaa XP
I'm going to China embassy later and gonna study after class for the test tomorrow!
Wish me luck!
Oh did I tell ya that I finally finished the assignment yesterday? Woohoo~! XDD

Besos <3