Feliz cumple Diego!

You may not know me.
But I'm glad that I know you.
When I listen to your music, it revives me.
When I see your smile, it makes me smile too.

You live in L.A,
I live in a country far far away.
When you're about to sleep at night,
I wake up coz the sun shines too bright.
I'm invisible amongst your fans,
but I'm the one who understand you by sense.

On this very fine day,
I just wanna wish a very happy birthday,
to someone I have always adored for years,
that just by looking at him at the screen is all that matters.
I support for everything that you do,
coz I know a bright future is waiting ahead of you.

If one day I get to see you in person,
don't get panicked when you see me fainted.
I would cry for joys,
and hope the time will stop for the precious moment.
When that time comes,
I hope I will no longer speak broken spanish,
as my life is replenished.

Remember that there's always a fan out there in a different part of the world,
who always thinks you're the best.
I love you, Diego,
and it shall never ever change.

- Joanna :)

P.S One day I'd write this in spanish :P


Woops! My penguin knows me too well! :D

Love is respect

"Love is trusting. It isn't keeping tabs with obsessive calls and texting.
Love is secure. It isn't being suspicious, jealous or paranoid.
Love is accepting. It isn't telling someone what to do, what to wear or how to act.
Love is freedom. It isn't about possessing anyone or anything."

- loveisrespect.org

I should've found this site earlier. It tells the stuff I needed to know that time.

Rachel says

"Because the minute you start pretending to be cool with something you're not is when the clock starts ticking. Which clock, you ask? The one that's going to wind down and break your heart when you realize that the person doesn't want what you want."

"When you let someone be nice to you on their terms and schedule, you teach them that it's okay to do it. You give them permission to hurt you. Kind of like if you have a dog that jumps on you all the time. Give the dog a biscuit, and you'll keep getting jumped on."

"As soon as you try to be someone you're not, you lose a lot of the spark and overall amazingness that is you. Is it worth it to betray yourself, and your values, in order to fit some narrow, ridiculous definition of what's sexy? ....My advice: the sexiest thing in the world is being yourself."

"I'm thinking you have better things to do than put yourself in situations that make you feel like a third wheel. It's salt in the wound. Lemon juice in the paper cut. ....You so deserve more."

....."seeing (or hearing about) people who judge your book by its cover is a great heads-up that these people aren't worth your time anyway."

....."you will find the truest, best friends of your life hanging out on the edges of the it crowd, not in the middle."

-Rachel Simmons, relationship counsellor of teenvogue.com

My wheel kisses a hole of the ground

Bad bad start to begin a day :

Looking at the exam results that turned out wrong as expected.

That's what exactly happened this morning.
Ok i kinda had predicted that i would get a B in one subject, which i thought it would be Marketing.
BUT instead, i got a B in another sub which is Bz Info. System.
pfffftttt DANG! I did pretty well on that! WHY?!
So pissed off and that i went to class with gloomy mood.

I'm thinking that I should feel popular amongst my friends.
I just told one friend about the results, as she was the first one telling the results were out.
When i got there people were talking about it and a friend was like,
'hey you got a A-A-B result?'
I nodded and he was like 'BOOOO' with those thumbs down.

WTF?

Super childish.
And now i know how one mouth can spread the news with the speed of light.

It really MADE my day.

Moreover I still havent got over the not-so-successful organ exam yesterday.
Im in such a effin good mood.

Eff the lecturer! His stupid paper was freaking easy and i knew i aced it so why couldve he give me the goddamn A?!

Ok I sound like a crazy bitch being mad over not-getting-a-distinction.
Well, I kinda am.
I should be more thankful that I still have good results, shouldnt I?
So i guess just let me be for now.

To make the matter worse, i asked my owner today about the house contract and she said she wouldnt extend it next year, meaning I have to move AGAIN.

This is exactly the part where the wheel of life is at the most bottom of the ground.

Super long day

It's been a looooong day.

I woke up early for Diego's chat today.
I remembered in singapore time it was supposed to be 7.30 am, but i was wrong, it was an hour after that.
I guess diego saw one of my questions? not sure, but he did mention about that topic so i just assumed that he did. ha.

The organ exam was not so bad, but not so perfect either.
I don't know, im too tired to talk about it right now.
I'm just begging them to pass me.
PLEASEEEEEE!

I asked permission to the lecturer to let me leave 15 mins earlier before it was finished.
Took a cab, had the exam, then take the train to tiong bahru, bought a birthday cake and headed to my friend's place to celebrate.
It was effin tiring.
and i brought my organ books along so yeah.
and i ate a lot of 'guilty pleasures'.

I'm half dead now.

To everyone who is reading this please pray for me to at least pass the organ exam.

POR FAVOR. PLEASEEEE IM BEGGING YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.

Thank you and God bless!

loves xx

La manzana

Yesterday's spanish class was TOUGH. The whole session was conversation practice.
After the class was canceled twice in a row for the last 2 weeks, we forgot a lot of stuff!
And guess what, Natalia was still away and there was this teacher replacing her.
He spoke like those people in videos, damn fast! and using lots of difficult words.
After he said something all of us were like, uh....huh? *blinkblink* with thousands of question marks on our heads.
I felt so stupid and embarrassed :(
And his english wasnt that good so we didnt really get his explanation. GAHHH.

One funny thing happened.
Javier (the teacher) was acting as a shop assistant and all of us were the customers.
My classmate was supposed to transact a computer.
The conversation went something like this.

J: Buenos dias, te puedo ayudar? (good morning, can i help u?)
C: Buenos dias, quiero comprar un ordenador (good morning, i wanna buy a computer)
J: Que tipo? (what type?)
C: Manzana

-silence-

I knew it was a fruit, i was thinking of 'banana' then the other classmate was like 'yellow'?
Then Kath got cracked.
It's apple!
LOL. THEN i remembered it was 'apple'.
So it's the Apple brand. LMAO.
All of us laughed so hard. HAHA.

Info : Spanish still say it as Apple :P

After the class was over we were like, FEWH! That was tiring!
We got many new words though. in whole 2 hours.

Btw I've just got the new album of Kris Allen's! :D



Wish it included the lyrics together :/

yay?

This blog is finally opened for everyone!
well it's not like people were waiting for it or something lol.
it's because i think theres nothing to hide from and nobody reads this blog anyways haha.
ok except 1 or 2. lol.
alright i sound pathetic now.
BLAH.

Yesterday i was bloated by free food and TODAY i was bloated by pressure.
This is the last day of performance electone lesson and i started having that nervous stressed kinda feeling. NOT FUN.
I need to keep in mind that im gonna make it (saying it million times).
and i HAVE TO make it. its the time.

Cant wait the moment til its finished. I have many things that i wanna do in mind.

not gonna tell now. ha.

i like to be me

"Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you"

"Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing"


-loveyourflawz.com

Estoy buscando a lengua

That facebook personality is apparently true.
I tend to hide my emotions, i dont show my true feelings although i want to.
Maybe i dont know how to show it?
or i dont want other people to know?
I'm such a weirdo.



And the result is killing me inside.
I wish there was some language to translate it,
coz i cant seem to find any.

Kurasawa-san!

On Saturday night I went to an electone concert performed by Daiju Kurasawa. It was awesome, and he really inspired me. Too bad that i couldnt say much in the autograph session, he speaks little english. Arigato! Thats what i said after a thank you. LOL

A surprise! My cute talented electone boy was there ;)
I also saw the guy who participated in the same students concert as mine last June. He brought his book along. I shouldve brought mine too! *didnt expect there would be an autograph session*

i didnt turn on the flash, it's a secret shot :p

To my L.A :)

(lesbian angels)

Happy birthday Song Kyong Mi

I LOVE and MISS YOU

P.S it says ''lesbians 4ever. kyong mi and joanna. we're in louphe'' :')

Please come back.
2 more years?

the faster the better.

*fyi we're not actually lesbians lol

I have my reasons

"The choices that I make might not always please everyone, but I have to do what I feel is appropriate and right for the time." - Dakota Fanning

"There's an answer in the sound of a train. There is wisdom, past the bridge on the bay. There's a lifetime through the fog in the rain. There's a beauty in walking away" - Marie Digby

"When you've found a reason to walk away, never look back... Just keep walking. It's better to get lost moving on than to get stuck and stranded broken."

Some stuff

Ok sooo i think ive been spending quite a lot of $ this week :/
Movies, meals and a friend's birthday present. Oh, and a heart pendant necklace! It's so adorableee i couldnt help it XD
Talking about movies I guess I have watched 4 movies since last sunday, but 2 were from free online movie websites heehee. The best was My Sister's Keeper! Ok i was quite late to watch it, and I'm glad it was still showing. Me and my friends came just in time and got the first row seats. My neck urrrhh but it was worth it! It was goood, touching and sad. Thank the first row seat so i had to look up like 90 degrees while watching and so my tears were not falling like a water fall! I heard many sobs though :P

Oh umm this is random but i feel that people around me are not that appreciative of things. They complain A LOT and very critical.
Lets say food. Ok if i personally think that the food is pretty bad i'd just say that i dont really like it or it's not my type of food. But sometimes people really go into the details like saying the cook is super bad, blabla. It's good enough that we have food to eat!
About clothing/fashion. For the past few months ive been following fashion blogs and sites and also actively viewing fashion stores websites, so now my perspective is quite broad towards fashion. I understand when someone says badly of a "bad" piece, even it does look not that good for my first sight. But after i take my time to look at it, its not THAT bad, and even it's pretty cool and unique if its accessorized. And there are times when we see people on the street wearing bizarre clothing and im totally fine with it. i mean different people have different styles, we should respect them. If they wanna wear purple pants with yellow shirt and red shoes, just go for it! WHY NOT? I can see in a bigger picture. People who dont understand fashion SHOULD NOT speak.
Same thing goes to music. Music is a part of my life. I listen to all kinds of music and appreciate every piece. So again, people who dont understand music, should not speak.
There are many other things, the point is the same.
So will you people start to appreciate things in life?
It's not easy to create useful things.

Look at those unfortunate people who don't even have a roof as a shelter and ourselves.
Aren't we soooo lucky?
:)

If only I

If only I could change the world
I would run right back to you
Make things count when much needed
Without thinking much it through

If only I had some courage
I would tear away my pride
And share some words of kindness
Like we lived it, many times

If only I was taller
I would bring you down the moon
I would wrap it up with colors
With yellow, reds and blues

If only I had that number
From the baker down the street
I would bake you chocolate cookies
Fudge vanilla and some ice cream

If only I knew tomorrow
I would try to make things right
And hope my path before me
Would guide me through my nights

If only I was seven
I would stay outside and play
And start my life all over
To somehow find our way

-Moises Ortega

Blow me off

Ok so some friends of mine seem to already have quite 'big' career by now, like playing in a band, modeling or acting. Most of them are old friends that I dont contact quite much with anymore. But when I contact them and ask how they're doing and stuff they don't respond :(
Ok maybe they're busy or maybe have forgotten me (?) but it feels like they dont reply coz they think I'm one of those friends who wanna get close (again) because now they have good careers. But hey I'm not a stalker! Its not like im spamming them or something.
Even at this age, they're already acting like that, I can imagine how it's gonna be when we get older and have our own jobs and when those people are getting famous.
It's just a shame how they have abandoned people who used to play a part in their lives.

I'm over it coz I'm gonna have my (big?) own career soon!

Ok maybe not that soon,
and big.

But I'm waiting for that day to come :)

Solid outside, crumbling inside

I miss having a best friend who shares the same thoughts, who can make every moment precious, a person who would hang out with me every weekend, who can make me feel weird if she/he isn't around, a person that wouldnt make me feel insecure to share secrets to, a person that i always have topics to talk about, a person who becomes a part of me.
I had several before.
I just wish that I could spend more time with them when we had the chances.
I wish that I knew them earlier.
We never knew how it would be so much different without them after we were separated.
It's weird that i actually made good friends with those that i only spent short time with.
So i guess the period of friendships cant tell the actual value?

I AM:

moody.
sensitive.
negative.
emotional.

I need to go back to classes.
On breaks and holidays i start to think stuff that i avoid to think when im busy.
It makes me emo.
(no cutting)

Music keeps me alive.

Semester break!

The exam week is over~~~!
And now it's time for semester break! :DD

Let's recap of what has been happening this week.

Monday:
It was unexpected but the band 'we shot the moon' just began a live video chat when i just logged in my twitter. I guess it was a practice before the video chat of the NEXT day? with someone else :)
but anyway the guys were nice and funny ;)

Tuesday:
DIEGO's video chat!!! Yeah i was so waiting for tuesday to come. I couldnt sleep at the night before, i set the alarm to wake me up but i woke up before the alarm rang! hahaha. too excited maybe? :P There were so many people so he didnt see my questions i guess :/ but i think i was smiling for half an hour just looking at and listening to him :PP

Wednesday:
Nothin special happened. Exam?

Thursday:
Study study study and day dreaming about the upcoming weekend X)

Friday:
It's finally over!
Yeepee!

Saturday:
Halloween! We went to sg science centre for the celebration and we thought ALL people would dress up but at first we just saw the kids did lol. Only some of the adults dressed up and i guess they thought they could only dress up as scary characters, while me and my friend.. hmm luckily we didnt dress up so much, otherwise we would be out of place, ha~ but yea we were trying to be a gypsy woman and a sexy waitress. LOL?
She was so freaked out by the "ghosts" even the kids werent that afraid. haha.
First we were going through the 'night horror trail' (the best part) XD then watching some kind of a show where a rubber guy didnt die getting struck by lightning (?), then looking at the exhibition "body worlds" where we could see human body (real) parts (idk how they made it but it was cool and gross at the same time, too bad that no photo taking allowed), then heading to fill our stomachs (Mcd's at 9.30 PM, felt sorry for my body) anddd attending a sort of discussion about ghosts(?). Oh, and chatting about ghost stories for an hour before going back home XD. I reached home with dead feet.

Sunday (today):
Skipped the morning mass and being laaaazzzzyyyyy. Still going for afternoon mass tho. Im a good girl ;)

Happy holidays for me! ;)) (not being sarcastic to those having exams currently)